


breaking out through the silence

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Board Games, Complicated Relationships, Coulson and Daisy's childhood issues, Coulson is the center of everything good in Daisy's life, Daisy is the center of everything good in Coulson's life, Daisy working through stuff post-Hive, F/M, Family, Fate, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Humor, Romance, Sappy, SpaceTime, Speculation, Supportive Relationships, Team as Family, there is also some brief May and Simmons, toothache fluffiness, working through feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7822012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson learns to be Daisy's friend and then falls in love all over again.  Title from Peter Gabriel's "Come Talk To Me".</p>
            </blockquote>





	breaking out through the silence

He asked her to come home.

Maybe not the best choice of word.

“I know you think family is important,” she says, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “You have all these happy memories of your mother and father, and mine are-“

There is nothing he can say to fix this.  Even after he tried to make her feel like she had a home, and people who would always have her back.

“Not all of them are wonderful,” he admits, closing his eyes for a moment, shutting it out.

“I know,” she goes on quietly.  “Something bad happened. But you have happy ones, you’ve told me.  All of mine are…someone else’s memories. Stories…about me.”

They’ve never talked about this so openly, but her running, the realization that he actually is more desperate than he owned up to, has shaken him as well.

All he wanted was to talk to her, but now that she’s here in his hotel room, he’s suddenly at a loss for words.

It’s always been easier for him to act. 

To do something, rather than say it.

He’s always been able to make the connections so easily with other people.  It’s what made him a top profiler in SHIELD. 

And the reason he’s always kept things separated, because if he doesn’t, he starts to make those connections about himself.

Losing his father. That feeling of powerlessness.  Of the ripple effect it caused in his and his mother’s lives.  Joining SHIELD to try to make sense of it.

He doesn’t want her to be alone, and yet, he knows part of this is selfish.  That he needs her.

“There were families who I lived with and I couldn’t stay, because I never belonged.”

“That wasn’t your choice,” he tells her. “A lot of things that have happened to you haven’t been.” 

“It was reality, though.  I was an 0-8-4, I was different. And you know what?  It was for the best.  Because people that tried to help me then died, just like they do now.”

He can see her staring at his prosthetic hand, then twisting her thumbnail between her teeth to hide her face, the anxiety there on the surface.

She still blames herself for the people that she’s lost.  That it’s because of her.

“That you’re the rotten center of everything?” he asks her bluntly, regretting the edge in his tone the moment he sits beside her and sees the painful agreement in her expression.

But he is angry.  At how this is possible, that after all they’ve been through, she shouldn’t have to see herself this-

“You are the good thing in the middle of all of this, Daisy.”

She stares at him like he’s told her the biggest, most shocking lie, then she frowns and stands up off the bed, and grabs her jacket from the back of the nearby chair.

“I’m not going to lose you, too,” she tells him, like it’s an order. “Understand?”

 “I would’ve died already, without you,” he calls after her, as she halts in place.  “In the desert.  Or from carving. Under that machine. HYDRA would’ve brought SHIELD down, and the whole team might’ve never made it out.  Without you.”

“And all the people, whose lives I ruined when I dumped the Terrigen crystals into the ocean?”

“What about the lives you saved?” he asks, coming to stand behind her. “And are you really telling me that you don’t believe they have a right to be Inhuman?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” she answers sharply, turning back around towards him. “They weren’t selected for it, the way my mother did it. They didn’t get to choose.”

“Neither did you,” he says, slightly flustered at how close she is to him now. “Fitz said that the future is already set, and that we only see it in moments. But you can start to connect those moments, like dots, until you have a picture.”

“Yeah, and it’s me, at the rotten center of everything.”

 

#

 

“I don’t need you to be family right now, okay?” she tells him. “It’s too complicated.  Can you just be my friend?”

It’s not the first time she’s brought this up.  He’s still not sure he knows how to do it, though.

The only reason they’re talking about it now is because they were debriefing thirty minutes ago and he opened his mouth when he shouldn’t have.

He’s been kicking himself ever since.

So used to giving the orders, and it’s not the first time it’s happened since he stepped down, but it’s the first time it has with her.

In front of the team, anyway, since she came back.  You could practically hear a pin drop, and then she reminded him the Director put her in charge of the mission.

It was obvious by the look on her face, she didn’t want to have to say it, but, she did. 

It’s okay.  He deserved it.

He also knows what Hive did to her messed with her ideas of family, and she can have all the time she needs to sort through that.

All they have are each other.

Daisy’s also the one person who can get past his walls, and he wonders if he’s truly ready for that. 

With family, you look after each other, no questions asked.  At least, that’s what it is in his mind.  They didn’t talk about things, after his dad died.

 She can be very daunting in that regard, she always wants answers.  He knows he’s grateful for every time she’s challenged him.  He owes his life to her for that.

But friends?

Now that she’s back at SHIELD, they’re more or less equals.  She’s definitely leading the field team right now.

Not that he ever had a second thought about taking orders from Daisy, he trusts her.

“So I guess that means you’ll be thinking about it?” she goes on, reaching forward to tighten the straps on his chute.

“I’m sorry,” he tells her, shaking off his distraction. “About earlier.  It’s an old habit, it won’t happen again.”

“At least you didn’t call me Skye,” she cuts in, flicking up her eyes at him, and he finds a blush creeping across his face.

“I learned my lesson,” he teases back, and finds himself relaxing a little as she takes her hands away. “I’ve still got your back, though, right?”

“Sure,” she offers, giving him a small smile.

 

#

 

When you’re friends with Daisy, you get to hear her laugh.

You hang out with her and the team late at night, and drink beers and trade stories.

Sometimes you play games.

“That's a made up word,” Simmons pronounces. “Adding a common prefix does not make it a word in the English language.”

“It’s not made up,” he retorts.

She immediately looks over at Daisy.

“That's totally your made up word face,” she answers him apologetically.

“What?” he complains, pushing up the long sleeves of his t-shirt. “I don't have one of those.”

“You do,” she nods, nonplussed.

“Fine,” he snaps, taking back the tiles and replacing them with his alternate on another part of the board, and starts to wonder at the implications of that, trying not to steal another glance at her.

May puts down her tiles and then second guesses a few times, and then just gives in to the impulse.

“What?  It’s in the dictionary,” she says when they stare at her.

“Agreed. I’m not saying it out loud,” Coulson replies.

A surprised grin stretches across his face when Daisy picks up his exact tiles and places them back down on the board.

“Really?” Simmons huffs, looking over at May. “Datish?”

“They both cheat,” May shrugs back. “This is why no one plays with them.”

“We do not cheat.” Coulson says defensively. “It's a real word.”

“Bring it,” Daisy says, motioning her hand in challenge.

“Oh, have your bloody fake word, losers,” Simmons sighs, then sets down her tiles, smiles as she announces her team's points. The clear winners.

“I guess we can't have it all,” Daisy tells him, stretching and yawning, after she sets down her beer.

It's the moment he asks himself how long he's been in love with her.

This is a bigger question, than the ones he used to ask himself.

It's the question he always shut out.

 

#

 

“I’ve been thinking about family,” he says, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Like, right now?” she gestures, looking up at the monitor in the green room.

“You don’t get to choose your parents, but you can choose your family, right?” he waits for her to reply, but she doesn’t. “It’s different.”

“SHIELD is my family,” she tells him, brushing her hand along the arm of his suit jacket. “That’s all in the past.  Why are you-“

“The Sokovia Accords are going to be dismantled.  There’s a formal bill being presented adding Inhumans as equals under the law.  SHIELD’s first Inhuman Director.  I wanted to celebrate.”

“We will. After the press conference,” she answers, looking at him curiously. “Are you nervous?”

“We’re friends, right?” he asks, stepping closer to her.

“Phil, you’re my best friend.”  And she looks at him so warmly, then wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly to herself.

“Yes, I’m nervous,” he whispers, against her hair. 

They’ve hugged like this before.  After bad missions. Or stayed up late, huddled together, talking quietly in the kitchen over late night coffee.

It’s just that he always thought, it had to be the right moment.  He wanted her to have a really good memory, and not when things were falling apart or during brushes with death.

Today is looking pretty good.

She pulls back to check in with him again, her hands on his shoulders.

“Better?”

“I was wondering, if you would want to be _more_ than just friends.”

She takes in a small gasp of air, and he feels her hands tighten briefly on his shoulders.

“Family,” she nods, meeting his eyes, then letting her gaze fall on his mouth.

He gives her a lopsided smile, because he knows she can see right through him. 

She’s always been able to.

“We will talk about this more after the press conference,” she tells him, as she leans forward to gently press her lips to the turned up corner of his mouth.

“Okay,” he says with a sigh, touching his hands along her arms to her elbows.

“I don’t want to mess up your nice face with my lipstick,” she says shyly, brushing her thumb against the corner of his mouth.

They both step apart when the door pops open and they’re given the go ahead to the stage.

“Ready?” she asks, holding out her hand to him.

“With you?  Always.”


End file.
